New problems, new fat.

9:39 p.m.
I have been eating all the stuff I successfully avoided, I literally can feel how I gained 2 or 3 pounds.
Now, my head is killing me with that little voice that keeps calling me "Stupid pig" " F A T" "Useless bitch" and the worst part is that if I look my body in the mirror all I can see is fatfatfatfat.
The thing is that vacations do not hepl at all, because I eat more than I should and that makes me feel really low.
This week, maybe Wednesday I will have to visit my uncle and I when I am with her I have to eat a lot, then she lives near the beach and with all my fat I can not wear my bikini... Damn I do not even know why the hell I have one.
Oh and there is this guy that has a beautiful thighgap, I am soooooo jealous ... jk. But I wish mine could be just like his.
Once again sorry for my english.
BT♥
Nightingale xx.